Now bedtime for my kids has always been the time to talk about the the "big" stuff of life. (I know, we are one of those houses where bedtime can go a lot longer than planned). So, here we were, Friday night after a big week getting ready for school to start. Truth is, the "big" stuff of life the last couple of nights had been the whole concept of mom losing her hair and getting a wig.
I told them to hang on and went to grab the box I had gotten at the salon earlier that day. I figured as much as they wanted to talk about, we would. Matthew wanted to see it right away and Zachary's curiosity caused him to sit up and talk about what is in the box. The first question was "can we touch it"? Sure, they both did and the mom who has been a little worried about Zach's thoughts about the whole mom losing her hair thing was a little bit set at ease.
We left the conversation in a good spot as far as I could judge and moved into songs and prayers. I sang to Matthew and we prayed and then I went on to sing the song Zachary likes to hear before bed. I started singing his song and his eyes started to tear up and he was trying to keep himself from crying.
"Oh no...the wig was too much" I am thinking as I am finishing the last part of the song. He was sitting up by the time I was done. I finished and rubbed my hand along his arm and asked him if he was okay. I told him that he can say anything to me that he is feeling and that we will work through all of this strange new stuff.
That is when he said this between his tears "Mom...now that I am in middle school like three OTHER kids in this house...I don't know why I have to go to bed with Matthew!" In a few more words he put it out there...what was troubling his heart. Why were Ryan and Thomas downstairs playing video games while he was stuck going to bed with his little brother?
It took a little bit of time to talk this big life question out and move on to sleep, but he finally got that 5th grade and 8th grade were still three years apart and Matthew needs a bigger brother to go to sleep with him so that he isn't alone.
Zachary wasn't 100% convinced I am sure, but some of these kinds of conversations take a few nights to sort out!