Forever Blowing Bubbles

I always like to make note of everyone's achievements in the family. I would be remiss to not celebrate another milestone in our house. Matthew has been working hard to perfect bubble gum bubble blowing.

He has been determined and was very diligent in practicing. This in itself shows this mom that he has been growing. My Matthew has not always been patient in practicing something he hasn't perfected yet and many times gives up just a little bit too soon. But this time, a couple days of trying and practicing has yielded quick success for this guy.

He showed a good deal of perseverance and I am proud of this, even a small little one of life's accomplishments. He told me he didn't know how to blow a bubble. I only had to show him once and he took the "training" and started practicing.

And now, Matthew will be forever blowing bubbles!

Fat Hand (and other things)

Thursday Night

Saturday Night
(See my knuckle dimples!

I was at Stacey's soccer game on Tuesday night and as I left I could almost see my hand on the steering wheel puffing up bigger and bigger as I drove.

By Thursday it looked like the picture on the left. My skin was again bright red after the game (in which I had prepared with sunscreen and long sleeved shirt). I kid you not, there was no sun whatsoever shining on my skin anywhere. I really have no idea what caused the swelling. It wasn't til last night when I looked down and saw a glimpse of my dimples where my knuckles are. I hope that means we are going in the right direction.

The lymphedema, for some of you who may not know, comes from the fact that my right lymph nodes have been removed when they took out the three tumors the second time I fought this disease. It swells up at times but there has been nothing close to this! If this is going to happen every time I go outside it will be a long summer!

Some of you have asked about whether or not we have heard from Mayo yet. It seems that they have changed their procedures and I have to sign a release of my medical records before they can look at them. The office called me Friday to let me know. I drove down right before they closed and signed the form. So NOW Mayo can take a look at things.

I have had the same question asked me quite a few times lately so I thought I would take this post and give you all an updated specific prayer requests:

1. TOTAL healing from cancer.
2. That this treatment is working! (Next PET scan is May 7th)
3. That Mayo can give us some insight into what we are fighting.
4. Reduced swelling of my right hand.
5. Reduction or elimination of neuropathy numbness and pain in hands and feet. (I am currently unable to knit, crochet or write without pain and this is VERY difficult mentally for me!)
6. Continued prayers for the children as they process and deal with a sick mom and their relationships with God. That they know that God is still GOOD through all of this!
7. PRAISE for a monetary gift from Aiming For a Cure (if you want to donate money to a wonderful cause...check them out, they have a website if you want to Google them) so that we can take a weekend trip as a family this summer. We are going to take the kids to the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter. We have wanted to to that for so long!
8. A weekend this summer that is free and I am feeling well so we can take the trip.
9. Fatigue...this treatment is two weeks of fatigue and only one week of feeling decent (I am learning how to do a lot of things from a sitting/laying down position).
10. Praise for the ladies who come on Tuesdays and Fridays to help me clean the house. It is nice to have company and a blessing to rest in a clean environment! We are SO very thankful for the people who have brought us meals too. With my lack of appetite it is hard to even think about what to make for supper!
11. PRAYER AND PRAISE for my amazing husband!!! Pray as he has taken over so much of what I can't do right now. He is currently planning and getting ready to install all of the electrical in the basement. It is always good to have a distraction when you are fighting cancer as we have found out through these last six years. I have been extremely blessed to be married to David for 26 1/2 years. He takes great care of us all.

Thank you all for reading to the end. I can't thank God enough for all of you who follow the blog. When I see some of you I haven't seen for awhile it is always the same thing. "I know we haven't seen each other in so long, but I keep up with your blog and pray". THANK YOU! God is hearing you and holding us all!

1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.

Same God

I sat on Tuesday night at my Bible study watching a video of Kay Arthur teaching on the life of Joseph because for this year, we have been studying the book of Genesis. As I listened, I realized that I had watched these videos before a long time ago. I had studied Genesis in a Precept study back when it was newly released in 2000.

The lesson of the moment was so apparent to me as I watched something I will never forget. It was almost 20 years ago that I started understanding the sovereignty of my God which changed my whole walk with Him. It was 19 years ago when I first saw this video when Kay Arthur took off her ring and placed it in the palm of her hand. She explained that we are the ring, her hand was God. When she made a fist she showed how God protects us, when she opened her hand and the ring sat in her palm she explained that everything that happens to us is filtered through God's fingers of love.

So, we don't have to worry that God has looked away and left us to fend for ourselves. He is still holding us, only letting what He allows to affect us. Going deeper into my thoughts while I watched, I remember in 2000 when I first heard this message, I was an infertile woman reading through Genesis and learning from the lives of several barren women (Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel) that it is God who opens wombs.

Every prayer back then and every focus at that time was that God would open my womb. I had no promise like Sarah but Rebekah's husband prayed for God to open her womb and He did. I knew that my husband was praying for me, so...maybe. Rachel wasn't promised anything and we don't know if there were prayers going up but we do know she desperately wanted children. I desperately wanted children (and I knew that I was David's FAVORITE wife) God answered Rachel's prayer with a yes eventually. Maybe He would answer mine "yes" too. I prayed all the time through that study that God would open my womb and that I would someday be a mom.

It has been interesting studying Genesis through a different lens 19 years later as a mom of five, three of which are two years from adulthood. The barrenness is not so much the focus this time but I see more about the qualities of a God who loves (often even when we are going the wrong direction or denying truth).

I wrote a note in my journal Tuesday night, "'Filtered through His fingers of love'. I heard this same video almost 20 years ago now! This was where God's sovereignty started clicking for me. Here I am 19 years later, different trial - SAME GOD!" God's sovereignty has kept me in His grip through infertility, the overwhelming birth of triplets, a child with autism, and cancer three times. I will admit, it is different this third time. It is wearying and we are left wondering more of the time than not. But we still rely on
the same God.

In fact, we serve the same God as Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. From my very first teacher I had when I first started studying the Bible inductively, I have a calligraphy framed that says "He is the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Jody" That is just as true today as it was the day she gave it to me and a great reminder to me that He was, He is, and He is to come.

There is no doubt that understanding God's sovereignty has held me through all of this. Knowing that He is holding me has come from my studying God's Word. If you need encouragement, if you need a deeper understanding of God's sovereignty, read His Word. His character, and understanding who He is will strengthen your faith. I know it has mine through the years. God has prepared me as He does everyone, it is part of that filtering. It may be a different trial - but He is the SAME GOD!

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever!"

Hebrews 13:8

70 Candles

My parents were born on the same day. This year marks their 70th birthday and that is something we were excited to celebrate with them last weekend. We spent the week thinking of all the favorite (and not so favorite) foods that we ate as kids and came up with a smorgasbord of yumminess as we took a walk down memory lane. I am only sorry that I didn't take a picture of my plate before I ate.

Our dinner consisted of Tater Tot Hot Dish, Chicken Tetrazzini, Taco Salad, Rice Pudding and Cottage Cheese and Applesauce (which we could eat together as we did as kids). Jeremy thought about making Potato Dumplings but some things are just better left in the past. As I was thinking about it this week I realized I could have baked some homemade whole wheat bread and made Mom's awesome baked fried chicken too (which we still eat at our house).

Just for fun, here is how you blow out 70 candles in case you ever need to know...

First, cover the smoke detector

Second, wait for the spirited yet
unpredictable version of "Happy Birthday"
to be sung by your family

Third, take a DEEP breath

Fourth, blow REALLY hard!
(can you see, they blew out almost ALL
of them with the first blow! Just that
top corner remained! We were pretty
proud!)

Fifth, get that last little corner

Sixth, a kiss for a job well done!

 Love you Mom and Dad!!!

Treatment #2

Today has been a good day. Treatment number two is done and now we wait and see how it all goes. I have to report that my neuropathy was unfortunately upgraded to level 2 from level 1. (As you can see, I am giving the bad news first.) Because of that, they reduced my dose of the chemo by 20% because this will probably continue to get worse as we go along.

My fingers are numb now to the second knuckle and I have to watch as I pick things up to be sure that all fingers are on the item so I don't drop it. Oh, and then I drop things and have trouble typing and writing too. I keep writing and crocheting and cross stitching to use my muscle memory in these fine moter skills as a therapy of sorts. I helps, I was told by the doctor who did my acupuncture.


But...along with that, there is a bit of good news we think. My liver function numbers are going down! In fact, one of the numbers is now in the "normal" range. That is a good sign. I found out that they haven't heard from Mayo and they are going to get someone to check on that for us. We are also going to have a PET scan before my next treatment to take a peek and see how things are going.

Oh FRIENDS, please pray that we are moving in the right direction! After a couple of months of uncertainty, it would be nice to see even a little bit of progress. I sat with my Bible at infusion today with notes from a study I am doing in Genesis. As Marshall my nurse was flushing and de-accessing my port, he asked if I was ready to go. I replied "just give me the word and I am outa here!" He looked at my lap and said "but you already have the word!" He apologized for what he must have felt was a bad joke but I told him that he was absolutely right!

It is so fitting the week before Easter that our lesson is about God's nature and His attributes. It was so nice to sit and read the truth about the God who takes care of me. He takes care of us all!

He is Omniscient, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Eternal, Immutable, Incomprehensible, Self-existent, Self-sufficient, Infinite, Transcendent, Sovereign, Holy, Gracious, Righteous, Just, Merciful, Slow to Anger, Wise, Loving, Good, Wrathful, Truthful, Faithful and Jealous

Show and Tell: A Finished Project

There was a time when we had four children playing AYSO soccer. I had it all planned. Four jerseys, passed down from kid to kid for however many years we would be doing soccer. That was the plan UNTIL AYSO went and changed the color of their soccer jerseys from red and blue to orange and purple.

Having gone to Goodwill several times and seeing the large number of blue and red AYSO shirts that were hanging for sale on the racks I knew that I wasn't going to add to that by bringing ours all to Goodwill. BUT, there could be some creative way to use them. It is cold on the soccer field some days. So, I cut them all up and ironed on some interfacing. Then, they sat in a bag on the shelf in my sewing room.

Fast forward a few years and two are now playing high school soccer, one has decided he is done with soccer and we have one soccer player in AYSO. AND...once again, jersey colors have changed this year to lime green and royal blue. That left me with four orange and purple jerseys to add to the blue and red that I had planned to put in a t-shirt quilt.

Now, with more jerseys, I could make WHOLE blanket with soccer uniforms! That was my goal, everything on the front of the quilt would be made out of their uniforms. I am happy to say that I achieved that goal. I didn't have anything to sash the horizontal rows so I cut up the black shorts too! No one wears the actual AYSO shorts anyway.

I could have had it done last fall but my fleece on the back had shifted and in the bottom left corner I was about an inch shorter with my backing fleece. In frustration I threw it in the corner of my sewing room til Saturday. I was mad because there was about a 1/2 yard of fleece left on the top when I sandwiched it together. I just took some extra fleece and sewed it to the short part and went with it. It isn't like I am taking this to the state fair or anything. It is going to the soccer field to keep me warm while I cheer on our three remaining soccer players.

Help! Google Class 101

A walk down memory lane with three of my miracles!

Guess what? I felt good enough yesterday to sit and work a little bit on my Google class to renew my sub authorization. I think I was just ignoring it because in my mental funk of late I found myself hopelessly wondering if I would ever feel well enough to be in the classroom again. I hope that there is a light to the end of the "chemo side effect tunnel" but until there is, I can finish this class and one more to get my sub authorization up to date.

So...faithful readers. It is now time for you to help me out! My assignment was to make a Google form. I have done so and you can see the link below. If you could take a couple minutes to fill out my survey, you can be part of getting my sub authorization updated!

Living the Miracle Google Form

I have had to ask for an extension twice now so my goal is to work this next week to complete this class. It doesn't look like the second class I have to take will require anything from you my readers, but we can have some fun here today. The survey is totally anonymous.

I love a little interaction, don't you?

Hanging Out With the Birthday Boy

I have written a lot about my parents. It was their birthday a few years ago that I wrote this HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM AND DAD!! post. Seventy years ago yesterday, I was blessed by the birth of these two very special people.

I had wanted to get home last night and post this on their actual birthday but it was a pretty big day for me and I fell into my bed instead. Stacey had a soccer game that was at home so I had told Dad about it over the weekend. Knowing it was his birthday I told him we understood if he had plans to celebrate that didn't involve a soccer field.

He texted me in the morning saying he was planning to come and I am glad he did. We had fun. The weather was a little different than Monday's 70's so we huddled together and watched as Stacey played quite a bit of the varsity game. She is a good defensive player and there were a lot of opportunities she took to show her stuff.

We laughed several times when "offsides" was called. I told Dad that David has tried to explain it to me thousands of times and I still don't get it. We were talking loud enough for a few in front of us to join in the conversation explaining that they don't get it either. We found we were in good company. Even in this one game, the calling of offsides didn't seem consistent enough to figure out if any of us were right in our understanding. As long as the ref knows I guess that is what really matters!

We took a "chilly day at the soccer field selfie" and laughed some more. It is posted here with a little hesitation. I think I count about five chins on me so it isn't my best look. Dad looks good enough for both of us though.

When you are one of five children, even as an adult one-on-one times with a parent are priceless. Especially when you have been blessed with good ones. I love living next door to them and I love that they love to come hang out at games and concerts. As Stacey said last night when she was getting ready for bed "you and Grandpa made my day"! I didn't live very close to my grands when I was growing up. We visited a lot, but I am so thankful my kids get theirs so close.

Chemo is Weird

Chemo is weird. I am not supposed to be in the sun while on chemo. Despite my best efforts while we were in Jekyll Island, at one point I had pushed up my sleeves and my arms got burned. My arms were red for about a week after we got home and then tanned up like normal sunburn has done in the past. I figured there would be a little bit of peeling like a normal sunburn.

Instead, I get this at the end of last week. A rash that looks awful. It is making my lymphedema in my right arm act up too. I am sure this is why they don't want chemo patients in the sun. After about four days having the rash it has started itching so I have been rubbing lotion on it all day long.

I have been laying low this past week. This treatment seems to take a lot more out of me than past protocols have. I can do a very little until I have to sit down or lay down. I am wondering if it is because of the oral chemo that I take every day twice a day. I have been feeling a little good for nothing as I contribute very little to the life of the family lately. I am hoping that after Thursday when I get a week break from the oral chemo that I feel a little more like myself.

Bloodwork last Thursday showed bottomed out white blood cells. Everything else looked okay. I actually spent a couple of days last week sleeping the day away. Not what I like to be doing during the day, but if rest is what is needed, rest is what I will do.

I am crocheting some when I feel like it and I am working on a stitching project. That helps me feel like I am doing something while I lay around. There really is no way to know if this is working on the cancer but for the last week I have had no liver pain at all. I can even poke around and not feel any pain. Oh I am so hoping that this is attacking the cancer! I can endure this fatigue if I know it is helping me to get to cancer remission.

Meanwhile I get to watch this weird sun reaction and what it will do next!

How Are You Doing?

There has been a lot of things going on around here lately! Meanwhile people have been asking how I am feeling after the first treatment of this new protocol that I had last Thursday. I hate being a whiner but I may whine a little bit today.

It was time to fill my daily pill organizer today. I got everything out and started. I had put it off for a couple of days and it is so annoying to have to pull all of the pill bottles out every time it is time to take meds. The convenience of the pill organizer definitely saves me time. I got everything sorted as I waited for the doctor's office to call me back.

Now you may ask "why was the doctor's office calling you?" Funny you should ask. After the infusion on Thursday I was surprised at how "normal" I felt. Things went great Friday as well. Jump to Saturday morning and not so much. I woke up with throbbing knees and sore calves. I walked around a bit, got my breakfast and took my oral chemo pills with my other morning meds.

As the day went on, I was distracted by all of the framing activity and I kept busy with a quilting project. I could not believe it but at the end of the day Saturday 10,000 steps registered on my Fitbit. What? Up and down the stairs more than normal just checking on the progress. Then, most of the quilting was done standing, so I must have moved around enough to add steps!

When I got into bed my legs were just throbbing from the knees down. I found that without distraction it hurt so bad that I was sobbing. There was no way laying there was going to be good or cause me to fall asleep so I went to the living room and turned on the television. Somewhere in there I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to the tv on the menu screen and the clock that said 4:16. I crawled into my bed and slept til my alarm went off.

Waking up because of the pain, I was a little concerned that this was going to continue. Saturday I had looked up that this is a side effect and then looked up and found it was a side effect of the infusion and not the oral chemo. So, maybe this would go away in a day or two. I did at several times wonder if I should call the oncologist on call for the weekend but I usually end up in the hospital when I do that. I rode it out. 

Sunday I found that Tylenol worked a little and it was good enough that I would be able to function. I also found that Ibuprofen did nothing to touch it. If I could just hang on til Monday morning when the office would be open. Last night was terrible. At 2 a.m. I was able to sleep some but lets just say right now I am super tired and will get into my bed when I am done here.

So, while I waited for the doctor's office to call back, I was organizing my meds. My doctor upped my Gabepentin to the max and told me that she was going to put me on Cimbalta to help the nerves that were extra sensitive and causing me such awful pain. This takes about two weeks to start to work in our body so I have also received morphine pills to use as needed.

This afternoon has been so much better. The pain has lessened so much and I have been able to relax. I have also heard from a couple different people that Cimbalta has helped either them or a loved one so I have high hopes.

Do I have specific prayer requests? Yes...

• Total healing
• That what we are doing in the protocol is kicking the cancer!
• That the pain will go away in my legs.
• Good sleep (for me and Zach...he has been having some trouble sleeping lately)
• Return of strength for the rest of this cycle.
• Joy in the Sloan house.
• Continued work on the basement without injuries.

Thank you all! It really is so encouraging to hear from you whether it is in a note in the mail or a Facebook message, or any other way that you have reached out. I feel the prayers holding us up.

A Special Quilt

Yesterday we got to celebrate the adoption of "Baby J" into his forever family. I was a toddler shower. The shower was planned back in January but the weather didn't allow it. I was actually excited because I could use the extra time to finish the project I had planned for this special little one. (It still caught me yesterday trying to finish it up and have it ready to go - I am a last minute girl almost every time no matter how hard I try!)

I have mentioned that I have been able to do a lot of quilting in my bed. This is the quilt I have been working on. I had never done curves before and so I was a little concerned as I usually get before trying something new. It was SO fun! Having to spend more time in bed has helped a lot because I pinned thoroughly and when I got to the machine it sewed up beautifully!







It seems like every time I finish a quilt I say it is my favorite one. I have lots of favorites! The thing about finishing this one, is that I had been kicked out of my sewing area because they were framing down there yesterday! It turned out to be great because quilting turned out to be so much easier on my counter height dining room table. I stood for most of it and I could see better and maneuver around a lot easier and faster. It went together quickly.

The pattern was originally bigger with one more row of "jacks" making it 3x4 but for a toddler, I took that top row off and made it a square. The colors have been fun and this had a lot more white than I usually choose for a quilt. But I really like it. I think Jackson liked it too!