So, denial...I am missing my life. Dad will be taking them out to pick up what they need. I am not sure what the first day of school will look like, but I want to be in the picture somewhere. I am not saying that I will be able to walk up there with them like I have done every year since the triplets were in kindergarten. I don't even think 2 pain pills will allow for that. BUT, I do want to take the pictures and meet with the teachers. I may have to do that tomorrow on open house day when I can move slowly. It is times like these I wish I had a cane laying around the house, if I had something to lean on, I think I could endure longer.
It isn't just the first day of school I miss. I have missed the WHOLE SUMMER! I am happy to say that we did get in way more than enough trips to the pool to pay for our family pool pass and so that goal was accomplished. BUT, it was a silly idea to sign up for the bowling program as we only got to the bowling ally once all summer! For the first summer, no one in the house finished a reading program - ANY of the 4 or 5 offered in our city. I am not proud about how much screen time my children have had this summer and I know that is okay for now, and since we are on the subject I know that both Ryan and Zachary have completed some of their gaming goals and so I can rejoice with them in their accomplishments.
Someday we will get to Mt. Rushmore. Someday my body will take on its "new normal" shape and stop looking and feeling lumpy and swollen. It will go back to its original color instead of the many shades of purple, pink, green and yellow. I know that I will be able to once again take care of my family and plan for trips and activities. For now, I look forward to sitting in camping chairs on he soccer field in a few weeks when I am once again allowed out of the house for short periods of time. I will again be able to drive and be the one in charge of getting everyone where they need to go.
But for now...I will heal. I will sit here and allow my body to get better. Now that all of the bad stuff is out and the good stuff is rearranged, it should be up hill from here. I usually don't let myself focus too long on the negative, but this is really hard, sitting in a chair or laying in my bed while everyone around me is active with the hustle and bustle of the first week of school coming. As I watch it all, I do feel a little sorry for us all for what we weren't able to do this summer, it seems like yesterday it was the last day of school. So much has happened in the last two and a half months. Lets pray that it is all behind us and we can move ahead with gusto!