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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Cancer Files: Here We Go Again

T-minus two days and counting.  In 48 hours I will be in surgery and things will be a little different when I wake up.  Hopefully, our house will be on the market but enough about that...how am I doing?

To be honest, I am not bad.  More ready to get the whole thing over with than anything else.  I guess you could say it is more fun to think about what needs to be done to get a house ready to sell than anything that I may ponder about what I will look like or feel like when I wake up Thursday afternoon.  I am sure I will be happy to be hooked to a morphine pump.  At least that is what they tell me.

I haven't said anything about Angelina Jolie through the last few months.  Lots of people have mentioned her to me.  I respect her choice and wish her well but I haven't really been looking to her for inspiration in all of this for those who have been wondering.  If you have read the details, she has implants.  More than likely, she didn't have enough belly fat to move up during reconstruction.  I won't have any red carpet appearances when it is all over so no pressure there.  The day I can snuggle my little ones in my lap again is the day I am working toward.

Any thoughts?  Yes, God is amazingly good.  People look for signs of faith when they see others go through a hard time in life.  I pray each day that mine is evident.  Some days, I have to say it is not.  I made a surprise visit to my Sunday school class I haven't taught since June.  They had all sent me cards to say get well and they were sad to hear I had another surgery coming up.  Even from their hearts I have been blessed.

It is amazing to me how people who haven't heard what is going on with us are thanking me for sharing in the way I do.  I feel so humbled to have an effect on people.  I say "I" but it is not me.  I wonder all of the time what makes me calm when I am all too personally acquainted with my own ways.  Praise God that He is in control and that along the way I have learned that important fact.  I feel so thankful to so many people and they turn around and thank me - we should give God the glory because it is not me...it is Him.  I don't even feel like I know myself, but I love Him even more when I see and feel Him working in me.  He is the real hero, the Lord is my strength, just a little more and a little more every day.  Praise God He is not finished with me yet!  I love sharing what He is building in me!

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