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Saturday, August 10, 2013

21 Years

We have come a long way, Baby!  And I mean that in every way!  I can say that this man gets more and more attractive to me every day.  We will have to give or take those grumpy days peppered in now and then, but I have them too and he loves me through them.  It all balances out!

The girl standing there smiling in the white dress thinks she has finally gotten to the day when she is married to this wonderful man she has been dating for 4 years.  The truth of the matter is, she has no idea what she is getting herself into!  And big grin on that boys face?  Well, I can't speak for what was going through his head at that specific moment, but I can say, he did not know much about his future either.

Isn't that what marriage is all about?  Not what you see in the movies or the romantic music or the passionate kisses in warm embraces.  Those things are all good, don't get me wrong, but what is really happening on a wedding day is two people promising in front of (what I would hope to be) a room full of those who love them, support them, and care about them, to spend the rest of their lives together and make a life.

The level of commitment to those promises is paramount to the success of the union.  How do I know?  Because I have wanted to bail out a few times along the way.  When I take my feelings into consideration there are many times I was hurt and selfish and unwilling for a few days to hammer out a misunderstanding or the details of an angry exchange.

I love this man's eyes as he gives me that look that is meant only for me.  I love his smile, his sense of humor and his way of making every place we are together feel like home.  He is my life here on this earth.  God has given me this love to cherish.  Not the love that we declared to one another on August 9th of 1992.  That was a great beginning.  What I love most and is probably the most important thing about this love he has for me is, he is committed to us.

As we danced the first song of our wedding dance way back then, the words still come to my mind and there is no better way to describe my husbands love "with you I never wonder, will you be there for me?"  I have never had to wonder.  It was my first job as a married woman back in 1993 when I worked as a secretary/receptionist.  One of the engineers came up to my desk one day.  He was kind of chatty talking about his kids.  Somehow the conversation went to marriage and commitment.  He insisted that I couldn't know if my husband was going to be faithful to me.  (quite the interesting encouragement for me the newlywed, from the man who had been married three times)  I told him, I know that David is faithful to me, otherwise I wouldn't have married him.  He walked away doubtful.  But then he didn't know David and I do.

We had a little get away this weekend and it was his idea.  I wanted to stay and keep working on the house.  We need to get it on the market so that we can sell it and get into our new house.  He said, no, we are not spending our 21st anniversary in this house!  He was right.  The amount of relaxation was wonderful, I hadn't relaxed like that in months!  I got half of a book - a FICTION book read and had a awesome night sleep!  He knew and I love him for that!

It has recently occurred to me as I have been to a few weddings this summer, we have been married a long time!  Considering the average marriage these days, we have come a long way.  We have learned a lot and have a lot to learn.  David and I have taken on infertility, raising triplets, a child with autism and now we are tackling breast cancer (with a little house flipping on the side).

It has been fun to remember what life used to be like...as we were dating...when it was just the two of us (for TEN years!)...ten years of being parents (talk about being thrown in)...and now getting all of them where they need to be and finding time for each other.  We don't have a perfect marriage and we know that we can't but God has blessed our efforts and has lead us to this point.  We look to those who are farther down the road and we model after those who have been there.  Thank you to all those who never have to wonder...will you be there for me?  You have shown us that it can be done.

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