We are coming up to the one year point from that mammogram day. The day that changed the course of my last year. I look back and think a lot about the decisions that were made and the things I may have done different had I been a "seasoned" cancer patient. No one gets that luxury though in the heat of the desire to get that yuck OUT OF ME! Nothing is ever like it seems, and there is not enough small print to read through a magnifying glass that will give you the story of what may happen as a result of the course of action you decide after much prayer and deliberation.
It is all okay though...life is richer, fuller and less apt to be taken for granted each day on this side of the struggle. The down side? Well, if anyone is still praying out there for specifics, I would say that finding a new normal isn't easy. From the daily struggle of the new way some of my old favorite outfits of clothing now fit, to the weak atrophied muscles that don't really work, to the weird new way my body now seems to be storing fat, to the interruption of intimacy between a husband and wife after 21 years of marriage - sacred things...it is all different. Some things I mourn, and some things I get frustrated about.
Time...more time to get used to regular life again, thankful that I am not in pain and am able to do things that I haven't been able to regularly do without pain. My big question is do I really want to call the doctor's office to schedule the next reconstruction surgery? If all goes as planned, it will take two more small outpatient surgeries. I can always call them tomorrow!