For Life

Day one of chemo went much better than expected. It was a reunion of sorts with all of the nurses who I again say are amazing. They are so positive and helpful and are true servants. I was a little anxious about the beginning of the Taxitere because it can cause a reaction. They put the steroids and the Benedryl in first to counter it. When I was getting my right hand massaged a new nurse to the infusion room sat down and joined our conversation. About 8 or so minutes after he sat down, I realized that he was here to watch to be sure they would be on top of any reaction I would have. He had already started it while I was talking to my massage friend and I felt JUST FINE (I didn't even know it had started)!!! Huge sigh! It takes about 15 minutes before we are in the safe spot where they know my body is handling it with the help of the cocktail of goodies I get beforehand.

I have a plan. Six rounds of this combo, every three weeks. PET scan after the third one to see how the cancer is responding and then if all is well after the sixth, the Taxitere goes away and I will be on the two immunotherapy drugs "FOR LIFE". I won't lie and say I didn't feel a lump in my throat when I read that. I mean, DUH! I knew that, just to see it was, well, really real. It was on my mind as I got my port accessed and the meds started.

Cindy Bauter...these socks. My VERY
favorite! So I took you along today!

For life. I am a lifetime cancer patient. As I was folding Christmas letters and stuffing envelopes and getting my hands massaged and chatting with the new nurse, I had one of those little conversations in my head about being a cancer patient for life, you know...the negative kind. After the Taxitere was going in and I sat alone, I read the first two chapters of Job. Job's boils and afflictions must have been so bad that he had wished to never have been born. It was somewhere in there that the thought developed further and I realized. For life...it COULD be for life as in for the rest of your life, you HAVE to do this.

OR...the "find it all joy" response could be thankfulness that there is something I can take FOR life, to LIVE. Metastasized cancer is not the death penalty it may have been in times past. So for life, to live to continue fighting this, I will come and I will take my medicine.

I am feeling all right so far. Bone pain comes with the immunotherapy drugs and that is the only thing that I can report for now. My hips and legs have some pain but I can keep on that with pain meds. I have had a little nausea as I move around but nothing that I even feel I need the anti-nausea meds for yet. I am looking very forward to a good night's sleep. I will then focus on Christmas.

Your prayers have been a God-send! Thank you all. The cards and notes. You all are too good to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!