Survival Files: A Deeper Shade of Blue

It hasn't been the best couple of days. I think that the concert being something I was really looking forward to this summer, and then making it there and enjoying "regular" family fun and inspiration made Monday morning a little rough. It actually was so rough it turned into Monday afternoon and then early evening.

It was about 4:15 p.m. before I even emerged from my bedroom on Monday. I had woken up a couple of times and even ate a sandwich for lunch that Stacey made for me. I had been up in the night with a really sick stomach. I had been dealing with some of the negative affects of anesthesia on a digestive system this time around. Unfortunately it was the early hours of Monday morning that the nausea decided to strike.

So, you can say that I took Monday off. Unfortunately, it came time to go to bed Monday night and my mood had not lifted at all and I was afraid I was dealing with a little deeper shade of blue than I had seen in awhile. I was able to read myself to sleep and determined that when I got up this morning it would be a new day and I would feel better.

Me determining didn't seem to bring wanted results and I got up around nine this morning and felt no better. I am trying to decide if the incision hurts worse because it is mad that the doc cut into it again, or if there is a weird kind of pulling from the way the huge bandage was placed that is causing the discomfort. The curves of cleavage doesn't make it the easiest place to put a 4x8 bandage. The latex or plastic is very firm too.

I hate being a downer to be around so I spent the day working slowly - ever so slowly on the pile of laundry that had to be folded in the laundry room. It made me feel like I was accomplishing something although the ever so slowly part was a little discouraging. But, I sat and watched some television and got up with every load and folded it load by load. Definitely doable.

It was about 1:30 p.m. when my mom popped over to check on me. Well, I can't put on a smiley face and pretend to be right as rain when she asks "how are you doing today?" I did feel like I had gotten something "normal" done and it really was a good feeling but there are so many things I am not doing.

The two of us tackled the green beans that were picked Monday night. They were mostly too big because we hadn't gotten out there but after picking through them, we got quite a few snapped and have a good bowl full that will go with a couple of meals this week. That was nice, just snapping and talking. I also remembered that I was supposed to get a call about my blood work last week and hadn't heard from anyone.

The night started with a simple game of go fish

So, I called...my iron stores went from 9 (normal is 200 or higher) to a whopping 699 after the infusion. The chemo nurse said they like to have it up to 800 pre-chemo so I am a lot closer to that! I am just mentally picturing how my iron rich blood is flowing through my body and helping the healing this time around!

This kid...what can I say?

It went uphill from there. I sat down at the computer and did some work for our pack for the upcoming scout year. I answered a few emails too and made a list of a few other things that I need to get done this week. That really helped lighten the dark blue hue as well.

The girls came home from helping at day camp (our church's version of VBS) and got on supper right away making shrimp and grits and a few of us had some of the fresh beans from the garden. Then there were cards...we played cards. A little voice said "hey Mom, wanna play Go Fish?" Yes I do! So that is how it started. Stacey and Matthew played the first round and then we decided to war.

Three of us were having so much fun, others wanted to join

Somewhere in all of that, Ryan offered to walk down to The Freeze which is about three blocks south of us and get some ice cream. He is a working man now so he offered to take his own money. He knows how to cheer me up! He dished us up and watched as we were finishing the game of war actually taking Matthew's place who was having trouble eating ice cream and playing cards at the same time.

Nothing like chocolate ice cream dished up
in a soup bowl!

The game was so rousing that everyone wanted in on the next game. (Zachary doesn't usually play but he loves to be in the circle watching from the front row). Someone decided we were going to play war with two decks and low cards win. Hmmm...guess who went out after the first round? Yep, me! But I got to watch and listen to my kids having fun and hear David playing the piano in the background - one of those things he does rarely these days.

Someone decided we should play war with smallest
number wins!

The game went on about another fifteen minutes before Matthew was out and so he and Zach and I went to read stories and get tucked in. Meanwhile the triplets went head to head. I kid you not, it was another forty minutes until Ryan went out and it took over an hour for Dawn to finally emerge victorious!

The night ended with triplets duking it out to win the war.

The dark shade of blue that I woke up to has lightened up. I still need pain meds to do anything and there is still a lot of healing to do. The kids need to be ready for the next week of activities and eventually the start of a new school year. I will be honest, I want to do everything I can because I find joy in being their mom and doing what I do. A body can get tired of feeling bad. Then thinking about how there is more than just surgery this time around and whoa...it can get ugly. I don't like it there and I pray I don't ponder there too long. Today was one day and it was a good day because God had control of the paint brush. I will focus on one day at a time and let Him control my shades of blue.

 Philippians 4:8 Finally, Brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.