Onward...Radiation

This morning through ice and rain I went to my appointment with the radiology team. It is not as warm and fuzzy there was my feeling after leaving Thursday morning after the consult. Today we did the simulation. I wasn't sure what to expect when I got there. They had said something about a mold and a scan. It was better this morning and I talked to a couple of the people I will see every day and feel better about it.

Here is my mold. I changed into a gown and came to this room. Today they marked the area and did a CT scan to get an idea of where the radiation will go. You can see in the mold where my head was. They fill this mold with air and then press all over so that it forms to my upper body. Once the air stops it holds its shape and they keep it for me each time I come in. It helps to put me in the same place each time I get positioned for radiation.

She put a bunch of stickers on me and a few Sharpie dots. The doctor came in to see if it was where he wanted it and then she did the scan. They take the information and make the treatment plan for me. They will send the plan into insurance to make sure they will cover it and then we will start treatment. As of now I am scheduled for next Monday the 23rd to start.

To complete my visit, I received five tiny permanent tattoos so they can see them each time and radiate the proper areas that are on my treatment plan.  You can see one of my lovely tattoos here...it is the little dot under the marker line. One is actually right at the top of my scar which goes above some of the necklines of v-neck shirts. So, maybe I will have a tattoo that I can show off after all! 

So, now I know a little more of what to expect. It was during the scan when I was moving in and out of the machine that I remembered my thyroid. I haven't reported much on that the last few months but I have started choking on saliva every so often and having trouble swallowing. "There is more after all of this" went through my head. Then, I started thinking about that and found myself getting a little fretful. I don't like to feel fretful and right at that moment, the hymn "Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken" which was a hymn in our church hymnal growing up came into my head. Don't ask me why except that I can say I have a great and loving God who loves to help me in my fretfulness, but every time I am laying on a table and moving in and out of a machine I have found this hymn in my head. "With salvation's walls surrounded, thou may'st smile at all thy foes". My foe right now is this cancer that has come back but I can smile, I can do what God has put before me because salvation's walls surround me. I know that my future belongs to Him. It is very comforting to have that reminder in the fretful moments.

It started when Zachary was little and I had an MRI of my head to see if there were any visible reasons I was suffering headaches. That was a fully covered machine and I was in it about 20 minutes. (Have I ever mentioned that I am a little claustrophobic?) That is when this hymn first came into my head. I love the words and how they minister to me. I didn't go in thinking this morning that I was about to get into this machine, didn't think twice about it. I have had a few more CT's PET scans and every time it is Glorious Things...in my head. 

A little funny thing to share about this great hymn is from back when I was in high school taking the ACT. You know the dreaded vocabulary section? Yes, the question was "what is the meaing" or "pick the best meaning for the word ASSUAGE". Oh man! I couldn't have picked it out of the A,B,C,D choices. BUT, I remembered "wait, assuage is in a hymn". After remembering it was Glorious Things of Thee are Spoken, I made my way through the verse and put it in the context of the line of lyric and easily found the right definition! I haven't forgotten what it means!

This song is in my top three list of hymns, probably number two after "Crown Him With Many Crowns" or three after "Holy, Holy, Holy" it is hard to say. The next time I have a scan of any kind I may just set my phone on repeat and listen to it all the way to the doctor!

Glorious things of thee are spoken,

Zion, city of our God;

He whose word cannot be broken

Formed thee for his own abode:

On the Rock of Ages founded,

What can shake thy sure repose?

With salvation's walls surrounded,

Thou may'st smile at all thy foes.

See the streams of living waters,

Springing from eternal love,

Well supply thy sons and daughters,

And all fear of want remove;

Who can faint, while such a river

Ever flows their thirst t'assuage?

Grace which, like the Lord, the giver,

Never fails from age to age.

Round each habitation hov'ring,

See the cloud and fire appear

For a glory and a cov'ring,

Showing that the Lord is near:

Thus deriving from their banner

Light by night and shade by day,

Safe they feed upon the manna

Which he gives them when they pray.