I have plenty of physical scars that show I have been in a battle. Not just a battle...several. There is no doubt in my mind that I have been fighting. I think that some of my emotional scars may be showing a little more this week as it is very wearying to feel almost like we are back as square one where we were in November before we had done any testing at all.
I wish that I could sing it to you, or play it for you from my CD player but there is a song that I have sung to two of my children every night. (well, one is now 16 and most of the time goes to bed after me so she doesn't really ask for me to sing anymore) But there is still one more who asks for it every night. I often ask when he will stop wanting me to sing a song to him before bed and he looks at me kinda funny like "what?"I thank Sandy Valdes who taught kindergarten down the hall from me when we lived in Georgia. Some days I would get the elementary kids going in the computer lab on an assignment and want to put on some music in the background. Sandy had all the great kids music and I borrowed a couple of CD's from her. I loved the music on them so much that when we were able to be parents ourselves I eBay'ed and got every one of the Heaven's Sake Kids CDs that I could find.
The triplets spent their first months in the living room and their bedroom and David burned all of these awesome CD's into one MP3 disk and we just had the music going in my MP3 player all day long. Some of the songs became "night night" songs. Sadly, a few of the CD's were not original and were burned and advertised as if they were new in the case. That made me mad. Of course, the favorite song was on one of those burned CD's and it doesn't play well anymore. But we know the song in our hearts, all of us in the Sloan house:
Don't You Worry
(Heaven's Sake Kids - Faith Songs)
Sometimes you feel afraid, you want to hide away
You're oh so worried about the problems in your life.
But Jesus knows what you're going through, and He wants to help you.
So don't you worry, don't you cry. Don't you worry,
'Cause Jesus.....is nearby
The singing on some occasions means more to the mom than it does to the child. In this case, it is true. Last night I could hardly choke myself through it as the message was delivered right to me. So, if anyone knows how to get ahold of a real (not burned) copy of the Heaven's Sake Kids - Faith Songs CD, let me know because I am keeping all this music to play for my GRANDCHILDREN and I would love a good version of this CD. I kinda listened to most of it this afternoon (the parts that weren't all garbled) and the whole CD is full of songs that grown ups can certainly use too.
There are rough times, and I feel like this is a rough spot for me. I can usually shake stuff in a couple of days but uncertainty is something that I don't do well. I am again turning to the One who knows my every cell and every thought and every care. It isn't easy this time, I will be honest. Trusting is definitely something I have felt that I have made progress in while I walk with Him but I obviously have some more work to do. The work is let it go...that seems like it would be easy, especially when I don't want to hold on to the worry and fear. I will leave today's post with one of my favorite "grown up" songs with the same sweet message. This one you can listen to because it is a little more well known and on YouTube!
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