"How is your day?" he asked.
"Great!" I said with a smile, like I usually do.
Actually...those were the words that came out of my mouth but there was quite a different chain of thoughts running through my mind. If I was being truthful my answer would have been quite different.
There really isn't an easy way to say it, or read it, or hear it, but after making a few comments at my survivor-ship meeting to my nurse a couple weeks ago, she sent me to have an ultrasound on a couple spots that seemed a little more than necrosis. There have been spots of necrosis in the reconstruction process and most of the time it comes and goes.
At the ultrasound, the doctor found three questionable spots and a lymph node that looked "suspect". I can't say that I wasn't a little on edge as I was scheduled for a biopsy on four spots and sent on my way. In fact, I told David in passing that I think I should skip June from now on. This started seeming a little bit like deja vu!
Today the results of the biopsy came back. It is a little surreal to be typing this but the cancer is back, this time invasive breast cancer with cancer in the lymph node that they tested. I don't know anything else at this point. Tomorrow I talk to the coordinating nurse and next week there is the appointment with my oncologist.
Those of you who are dear prayer warriors I would be honored if you would add me and the family to your prayer list as we navigate through what is ahead. I debated whether or not to call this post "Cancer Files: Take Two" but the truth is, I am still a survivor!