Smell the Color 9

I wish I would have been better at sitting down and blogging about a few really earth shaking things that have been happening around here at our house. I originally set up this blog years ago when the kids were babies and I wanted to keep our far away friends and relatives up to date with our growing family.

Then when breast cancer hit in 2013, I was so thankful that I had the blog to keep people posted about my progress (or set backs). So many of you were a HUGE part of my journey through that and it was a blessing to me.

During that time I was posting pretty regularly and have found that as I have gotten back into the full swing of living, the blog has been put to the side and has not been a priority. Well, I realized that it was therapy to sit and reflect on what was happening in my crazy life whether people read about it or not. (I say crazy because as I sit here looking at my calendar I am perplexed at how I can be two, three or four places at once on some days!)

I have children who are dealing with new life situations every day and it feels like we are spinning some days faster than we can handle. To be honest, the whole point of sitting here today and writing is that I enjoy life when I can document it. Whether it be family scrapbooks, photos on my phone, or blog posts, I can wade through the crazy if I just take a minute to write a few paragraphs and let my brain decompress.

My mom in her wisdom took Dawn aside over the weekend and introduced her to Chris Rice and his music. Each one of my children show their sometimes overwhelmed state differently and thankfully for Dawn, her grandma lives right next door and is the best listener I know. The song "Smell the Color 9" was one my mom thought Dawn could relate to and she was absolutely spot on. I love her!

Dawn told me that she listened with Grandma and loves the words and I think without her saying, she was relieved to find out that someone has felt like she does at times, felt like her enough to even spend time writing a song about it. My songbird is once again singing!

As crazy as things are around here God is doing big things. Every day there is growing. I will save some of the details for the next few days. There are times when I don't feel Him close to me and there are times when He is screaming in everything around me. Lately, there is no doubt that underneath and through it all, He is there. How do I transfer my understanding of a great God to my children? Sometimes I just want them to KNOW! I share my experiences and point them to Him in theirs. Sometimes I send them to Grandma. Of course I pray every day that they will someday just be still and KNOW. In the meantime...smell the color 9!

Smell the Color 9

I would take no for an answer

Just to know I heard You speak

And I'm wonderin' why I've never

Seen the signs they claim they see

Are the special revelations

Meant for everybody but me?

Maybe I don't truly know You

Or maybe I just simply believe

'Cause I can sniff, I can see

And I can count up pretty high

But these faculties aren't getting me

Any close to the sky

But my heart of faith keeps poundin'

So I know I'm doin' fine

But sometimes finding You

Is just like trying to smell the color 9

Smell the color 9

Now I've never felt the presence

But I know You're always near

And I've never heard the calling

But somehow You've lead me right here

So I'm not looking for burning bushes

Or some divine graffiti to appear

I'm just begging You for Your wisdom

And believe You're putting some here

'Cause I can sniff, I can see

And I can count up pretty high

But these faculties aren't getting me

Any close to the sky

But my heart of faith keeps poundin'

So I know I'm doin' fine

But sometimes finding You

Is just like trying to smell the color 9

9's not a color

And even if it were you can't smell a color, no

That's my point exactly

Friday From the Heart...Once Upon a Thyroid

Biopsy...true, it is only a biopsy of two nodules on my thyroid (known in MOST cases to be benign), but the word is biopsy nonetheless.

I had a biopsy on a thyroid nodule back in 2003 shortly after the triplets were born. At that time it was "nothing to worry about" the doctor said. So I wasn't worried.

Fast forward to December when my aunt found out she has nodules on her thyroid and was having a biopsy on a couple nodules. As I was finally going to be in to see a new GP after mine retired during my couple years of breast cancer mess, I had a stack of medical history forms to fill out. The forms are full of all the health questions you can think of relating to your family and what you know about the health of your parents and grandparents, cousins, uncles, etc.

2003...the doctor back then said the thyroid nodule is nothing to worry about and that we just need to keep an eye on it. I suppose 12 years without checking it isn't really what you would call "keeping an eye on it" so, I mentioned it to the doctor when I got in for my new patient visit. Not skipping a beat, she told me she would schedule an ultrasound to take a look.

During the ultrasound the sweet technician was doing a great job with small talk until she asked me "in 2003 they only biopsied one nodule?" Hmm...I thought. Calmly I answered "there was only one nodule in 2003". Stuttering just a bit she responded "Yes, yeah, so they just biopsied the ONE nodule then?" rewording her question. I left there thinking - so there is now more than one.

Sure enough, not two hours later at home I get a phone call telling me there are multiple nodules on both sides and that I will be getting a call from the ENT with an appointment to have a biopsy done. Today is that lucky day!

I won't hide the fact that I am not a little anxious to find out what is going on. In fact, I am a little excited because there are a few things that I have questioned about my health that are weird and isolated incidents that after reading more about thyroid issues, could TOTALLY be caused by the nodules growing on my thyroid. I also won't try to deny the fact that I hate going to doctors and I hate needle biopsies.

I mostly hate that I have spent as much time in the PCI building as I have these last three years. I was the one complaining before they got it built and took out a block of downtown roads to plop it right in the middle of the street! The ENT office is there just like the oncology and breast cancer office, I get my survivor massages there and of course the surgeons office is there too. Oh, and lets not forget the orthopedic office where Stacey and Zach have both had x-rays and MRIs in the last year. One stop medical shopping topped with a visit to Caribou Coffee before heading back out to the parking deck.

Let's hope this will just be another report to add to the "Jody's Thyroid" file and not the beginning of some awful adventure where I have to be brave and strong and reliant on everyone around me to do things for me. I did that once...and thankfully the Lord brings peace into my heart when I think back to those days in the quiet of the dark when my mind takes control and keeps sleep at bay.

I know how to be still...and I KNOW who is God.

Update as of 4:00 today: no biopsy today, only initial consult. Grrr...more waiting.

Small Tasks In the Heavenly Economy

I have always loved this quote by Marguerite Harmon Bro. I have always loved this picture. I put them together and I love it even more! What a great reminder to me. I am planning to get it framed and put up close to my kitchen sink. I am one of those people that need those daily reminders.

Caucus Night: First in the Nation

Rushing from Ryan's basketball game in Manchester, I got home just in time last night to jump in the car with David and Dawn (who wanted to see up close and personal "what is a caucus?") and get to our caucus location.

We eventually found a place in the back of the Presbyterian church to sit and listen to the representatives tell why their guy is the best guy. I love listening to the passion and the excitement in every one and to see the buzz of the neighborhood as people elect their precinct secretaries and those rare individuals sign up and pay to go to the convention. Not really my thing, but I love that there are those that get excited about that.

The turn out was amazing and the excitement was contagious. Dawn and her cousins learned a lot and then Grandpa took them to ice cream so not too shabby of a night for these girls! In fact, made Ryan and Stacey wish that they had accompanied us to the caucus after all!

Adventures in Pattern Making

I was so frustrated on Pinterest the other day when I looked for a pattern for a Cub Scout hangar caddie to make for my boys. You drape it over the hangar and it has pockets where they can store their uniform extras like the bandana and slide, their sash and many had a bigger pocket for their books.

Frustration I say, because all of the sites that were showing these caddies were leading me to Etsy to buy one from them. See, I am not going to pay someone else to make something for me that I can make myself and charge me three times as much as it cost.

We all have our favorite pass times and I admit, mine is making things with my hands that other people pay to have made for them. It is a curse sometimes but, I enjoy the creative process and love providing things for my family.

Last weekend, after exhausting all the Pinterest sites I could find with these type of caddies, I found every one of them was selling only finished product.  So, I cut up a huge paper bag from the day I was at the quilt shop stocking up on embroidery thread during a sale, and started taking measurements and drawing straight lines.

I am NOT a patternmaker. That is not my talent or anything that I enjoy. But, I am not closed to trying new things. Since this is pretty straight forward, I was able to draw up a pattern and start step by step with a piece of leftover fabric from the Mario quilts. There were a couple of design changes that were needed after creating the first caddie but with a couple of tweeks, I was ready to make the real thing. I am not sure how to post things like patterns on my blog, but if anyone wants the pattern, I can tell you how I did it. If you want me to make one for you, I can do that too. This was a fun little project!

Happy with the way they turned out I don't think I will be so afraid to try something in my sewing room from scratch again!

And So It Begins...

This is Stacey, standing with her name on the new patient list. I don't have much to say about her new braces which will be forthcoming, but she certainly is excited! She got to meet her orthodontist today and found out she has to get two molars pulled next week before the braces go on. (A slight downer to the excitement of the day).

She has been blessed by genetics to have a lot of extra spaces between her teeth and is glad that she will get to have her teeth moved so the spaces will no longer be there. Straight teeth they are, but one of her canines is growing into the roof of her mouth and will have to be "guided" down to where it belongs. Extra benefit for Stacey - gaps will be gone and she will love her new smile.

Even better, she got to miss her first two hours of class today!

Sign us up for two years!

Mornings Come Early

This is what I look like and feel after four days of taking my middle school basketball player in to school at 5:45 in the morning!