Worry, Woe and All is Well

Worry...a lot of life can hit us all at once sometimes. This past week was one of those times for me. Without going into details, it was a busy weekend after a week of quite a few nights up way past my bedtime engaged in some emotional discussions. A lack of sleep and a full calendar can cause any of us to be a little frazzled and for me I started to be fretful.

I don't usually feel fretful for long. It is something I have learned to recognize right away. I love that God will take that from me for the most part when I ask Him to. I love Him for doing that for me. I was reminded that the emotional fretfulness is in His hands and I need to trust Him. There are plenty of physical ills that I need to focus on getting through.

Woe...I have one more day of the radiation I have been doing for the last five and a half weeks. It is just about time too, my armpit really couldn't take much more. I am throwing out all dignity and actually posting a picture of my armpit. It has been pretty painful and has caused me to be short with my kids and sometimes a not so fun person to be around.

On Tuesday they set me up and showed me what will happen next. There is a metal slide that will be put onto a special piece that fits over the radiation machine. That starts on Friday. Five days of "boost" to the scar in front.

The doctor had to come in to sign off on the set up and he asked the nurse in very broken English what this was? He pointed to my mastectomy scar across the front. I explained that it was from the surgery in 2013. It hit me as he left the room that this has gone on a long time. Almost done.

They marked with a Sharpie the borders on top and bottom of the metal slide so they know where to line up the machine. I am dreading the last five days actually. They will use the bolis which I explained in an earlier post adds an extra layer on top of my skin so the radiation will be closer to the surface (like the spot under my arm). Thankfully it will be only five days really quickly. The scar is already irritated (as you can see in the picture). Should be interesting.

Meanwhile...my hair is growing, still not as much on top in the front but it is coming along. I got so excited last weekend about my little short eye lashes growing that I put some mascara on. It may not have been the best time to debut my mascara lashes since I was extra emotional during the weekend activities. The mascara was not waterproof!

You can also see shadows of eyebrows growing in. Once they started growing they have come in fast. I am still drawing some but it won't be long til they are all my own.

Some have asked what is next and I would have to say that I am not sure. I have my next oncology appointment next Tuesday. It has been a month since I have been in the office. The longest time between appointments since June. I do know a few things. First of all I will have an injection every month for ten years. Since my cancer needs estrogen to grow we are trying to keep my hormones on a level that will not allow cancer to come back.

I have also been considering a clinical trial that they have told me about. There is a packet I have been going through to determine if it is something I want to try. Of course they tell you all of the things that could happen to you while you are taking the drug. Anything from a hangnail to DEATH and all of the things in between. It would just be an extra pill with what I would take with my regular regimen. I think there will be oral medication too for the next ten years. We will see on Tuesday.

All is well.