Survival Files: Post Surgery Update

I have been laying low this weekend getting rest and doing very little. I mentioned that I would give more details and so here goes...

The surgery went well, better than I had hoped. The surgeons were able to get rid of the cancer and not only that, they were able to lift the tram and move it over. From what I understand, there was very little of the tram removed. Woo Hoo!

I will find out more information on Friday when I visit with the oncologist. I am hoping the pathology will shed a little light on where this came from or if this is a few leftover microscopic cells from last time that just started growing. Up to this point, they don't really know. Next Monday I have my appointment with the surgeons.

They sent me home tightly wrapped with instructions not to do anything with the dressing. So I haven't actually seen the main incisions. The port incision is not dressed at all since they used glue to close it. That incision is about an inch and a half on my left collar bone.

I have two drains, one to drain the main incision and one where the lymph nodes were taken. There is definitely more fluid coming from my armpit/lymph node area and I was pretty shocked the first night when I stripped the drains to see how much fluid was there. 120 mLs was more than I have ever seen in one drain. It was down to 70 mLs by Sunday morning though and has been around that or slightly lower since. If you want to read more about Jackson Pratt Drains, here are a couple of other posts I have written about them.

December 2013 Drains
September 2013 Drains

So far, so good. I broke down and got a color book for adults. I have enjoyed coloring all my life and have crayons and coloring books all over the house still, so I never understood the big to do about these more sophisticated adult coloring books. I have a pretty good set of colored pencils and have finally been coloring like an adult after all these years!

I am reading a couple of books and of course, coloring pages in my new coloring books. Today I will spend some more time in my recliner and maybe try some knitting. I started a new project on Wednesday and did everything until I got to a part I didn't understand in the pattern. That means watching a few YouTube how to videos before I keep going. The trick is to see if I have the patience to work on a more difficult pattern while under the influence of narcotics.

Speaking of that, I have gone down to one instead of two pills every four hours and am starting to add ibuprofen too. I hope to wean off the stuff that makes me sleepy and be on ibuprofen only. Maybe by Wednesday or Thursday. Right now I am almost an hour past when I should have taken my next prescription pain pill and the ibuprofen is working fine.

Thanks for all of the prayers as I heal. The summit of the first big mountain has been reached and we are now on the other side resting up for the next climb. Love you all!

Survivor Files: A Deeper Kind of Calm

I mentioned this book earlier in one of my blogs a few weeks ago when I shared how I feel God was preparing me for what was coming.

Linda Dillow is one of my favorite authors. I have met her in person and she is so genuine and humble and writes from experience and a pursuit of God that marks her every step.

For me, an author is thoroughly vetted before I can say they are on my favorites list. Especially when they are authors who use the Bible to make their points. She has stood the test of time and has been held up to God's Word and found to be firm and true.

I have mentioned her book "Calm My Anxious Heart" which I pull out during occasions which need that peace that passes all understanding. It has become my reference book for anxious times.

When I heard that there was another book that was a sequel of sorts I put it on my to buy list. It had moved its way to the top of the list when my birthday rolled around this year. Since I had been substitute teaching some this spring, I used a little of that money and made a book order.

I was surprised at the size. It was a lot smaller than her other books but it has been full of encouragement and help when I need a clear truth to speak to my doubt and fear. She takes me right to God's Word and reminds me of His sweet promises.

I am thankful for the people who share their stories and how God has been faithful in their low and dark places. He never changes, His plan is always sure and we can cling to Him. Finding someone to encourage us in those places is a blessing and a gift. This book has been that for me.

"On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you have been my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings." Psalm 63:6-7

Garage Sale Goes High Tech

Still catching up on the other things in life that have been happening before being so rudely interrupted, I want to share the coolest thing ever...especially if you are one who is drawn to holding your own garage sales. This is even more cool if you go together with a few friends or family members and have a garage sale.

This is an app available for both Apple devises and Android called "Garage Sale Checkout". It was the best $2.99 I ever spent on an app. It holds up to ten sellers and you can set it up to automatically compute eight amounts along with the ability to type in any sale amount as well.



I would just like to say that I can't talk enough about how much we didn't miss all of the stickers and the notebook paper and the calculating this year. It was amazing how accurate the totals were. We were less than $5 off at the end when all the earnings were passed out and we were through.

The cool thing is that at any moment in the sale you can hit the "sale total" button and it comes up with everyone's total so far. I did take a picture of the screen every so often since this is the first year we used it just to be sure that I had record in case there was a glitch of some kind. I think that I would do that every time because there always is a chance that something could hiccup.

I was so surprised at how much this made our lives easier at this year's sale. I don't think you will find us without the app in the future. Many people were impressed with our "high tech" sale!

A Birthday Present Project

Today is surgery day. I am celebrating that life hasn't always been and won't always be about my cancer by cranking the hand of time back a few weeks. Yesterday was a little heavy and so I am skipping "from the heart" this week since I pretty much laid it all out already.

Zachary turned 10 and I am not going to miss reporting this most amazing milestone. He LOVES Garfield...I mean LOVES! So you can add "Garfield Cake" to my resume along with "Garfield Costume" and "Garfield Valentine's Card Box". I was thrilled that it turned out to actually look like Garfield because there were a couple moments that were touch and go as to whether or not he would be recognized. Zachary was thrilled! (Me too!)

Although Garfield is his first love, he also loves Charlie Brown and Snoopy. So, when Grandma and Grandpa got him a fleece blanket kit with a big Charlie Brown and Snoopy on it. Grandma decided to leave it undone and spend some special time with Zachary tying the blanket together.

The kit is marked where the fringe should be cut and unfortunately our Lefty had some problems working his mom's right handed fabric scissors. It was a project that took longer than this 10-year-old had an attention span for and so Grandma did a lot and Zachary did a little. Because Grandma is fast, they both finished around the same time and now Zachary has a great new blanket to sleep under. He has slept under it every night since and snuggles in it every time we watch the Peanuts movie. I love that Grandma has so much patience and that she lives next door. 

A few days after his party he announced to me "I am planning to work on my new blanket with Grandma today." I told him that he should probably go over to Grandma's and see if she had some time because sometimes she has things scheduled in her day. Thankfully, Zach picked a good time for Grandma and they got right to it. Grandma was patient with Zachary who wanted to get it done and use it. The process was a great lesson for Zach about waiting and taking our time and doing our best work...all those lessons she taught me all those years ago. 

Survival Files: Heavy Hearted Pondering

I am grieving a little bit today. You don't have to read if you don't want to but it is part of the process for me and so just getting it down and out of my head makes it real and more manageable. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror for a little extra time this morning. I think back on all it took to get the cancer out and me looking "normal enough". Six months ago if I would be writing this with no vision of what the future holds, I could tell you very easily all the things that bug me about my new reconstructed body.

But today? Today is the day before they have to go in and take it away, maybe my whole right side. The side that took three surgeries to get. Three surgeries, miles of  packing and a stint with the wound vac. I remember all of that and now...looking in the mirror, it was worth it...worth it enough to make me stand in front of my mirror and wish I could just keep this scar laden, tattooed right breast. Sigh.

It isn't about the cosmetic part of it anymore. Now, it is about once again being able to claim cancer-free status, no matter what I look like underneath my clothes. I will get used to my new normal and the new body but I can't help sitting here wondering "if they are going to stretch my skin to cover the part they will remove, does that mean my new tattooed nipple will end up in my cleavage?" It is these things that make me go hmmmm. I have to admit...thinking about it does make me giggle a little because if I don't, I will just end up a crying puddle on the floor.

I am left with my thoughts again on that. Until I wake up after surgery I won't know what will be left. Hopefully, many more healthy years with my awesome family and friends. Starting tomorrow afternoon when surgery is over, I will begin to heal, and slowly get used to what will be. For now my mind wanders and wonders about what they will do while I am sleeping and the aftermath of what I see the next time I get out of my shower and face the bathroom mirror.

David McCullough is keeping my mind
busy as I read his book 1776

Relaxing in the infusion room

Yesterday went well. I met with the doctor who will be putting my port in tomorrow and got my second iron infusion which went pretty well. I was a lot more tired afterward than I was last week. Then I realized how much the adrenaline from having to get home and getting us all out to camp really helped keep me from crashing. I didn't have that rush this week though. I felt like coming home and taking a nap.

The last stop yesterday was cardiology where they did an echo cardiogram. They want one of those before starting chemo and so they were on the ball and scheduled it before my surgery so that there wouldn't be the pressure on my chest after the surgery. I am glad someone knows to think of these things.

Specific prayer requests for today (and the next couple of days):

• Prayers for wisdom and guidance for the doctor's hands who will have a part of this surgery tomorrow. (There will be three doctors involved)
• Fun distraction for the kids
• Successful removal of all areas affected by the cancer
• Peace for me in the morning and for David throughout the day as he waits for updates
• No complications arise during, immediately after or overnight as I stay for observation
• Peace when I wake up and find out what they have to report when it is all done

Thank you family and friends near and far! It has been a great year and a half since my last surgery. I am a little rusty at "the night before surgery jitters" I am blessed beyond measure by all of the words of love and encouragement from you all! Thank you! Thank you!

"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." Psalm 55:22

Celebrate Freedom

Today I will be meeting with another surgeon who will put in my port during Friday's surgery, visit the infusion room for another dose of iron, meet with the "wig lady", and finish my PCI visit at cardiology where they will be doing a echo cardiogram to be sure my heart is strong and working properly before starting chemo a few weeks after surgery.

I may or may not write about all of that tomorrow, so until then, here are some fun pictures of the sparkler celebration on our cloudy July 4th evening!

Kids Camp 2016

NCBC moved in at EIBC for a week of Kids Camp

It has taken a few days to get back into life here at home after camp. A great distraction has been that Auntie Chelle is here from Georgia. The last night of camp was Saturday and we arrived home about 9 p.m. and unloaded all of the suitcases into the garage. (no one wants smelly damp camp bags coming into the house!) By ten, the kids were back in the empty van to go with their dad to pick Michelle up from the airport.

Those who had a serving job at church went on Sunday morning but the rest of us were so exhausted! After my slow rise from bed, I continued with the laundry with the smelliest piles first.

Matt jumps into the very slimy
scripture challenge on Day 1

One of my favorite memories of camp would have to be this conversation I had with Zachary during his bunk's craft time when I was in assisting the "craft lady". Zach called me over to where he was sitting:

Zachary: :Mom, yesterday I saw you in the kitchen when I went through the lunch line, today you are in the craft room...LONG PAUSE (with perplexed look - I nod)...What do you DO here?"
Me: "Just a little bit of everything!"

My first year camper - Day 1

I enjoyed being the counselor coordinator. Each day I ate breakfast with the counselors and went around at bedtime to each girl's bunk and talked with them and prayed before bed. That meant in between times I could help out in any area where they needed an extra hand.

The first day one of our counselors had a conflict at work and they hadn't given her the day off. I stepped in and was counselor the first day with one of my great junior counselors from one of last year's bunks. Very fun!

Day 2 - Flippering...lots of flippering!

Here is Matthew with his balloon
sword running up to the stage
during their skit.

It was fun watching all of the bunks at their activities and it was also nice to have a little time to rest and read or nap. I got to see the triplets a lot more than when I have counselled too since they are all gophers and run around doing whatever needs to be done.

Lots more hugs and conversations that are so sweet since camp kinda brings out the best in them. I need to save those great attitudes and bottle them up for home throughout the next year. (They aren't always so willing to do what I would like them to do around here.)

Zach and his bunk buddies waiting
for their cue during their skit

Matthew's bunk checking
in to see if they found all
the items on the scavenger
hunt...they did!

"Let the redeemed of the Lord tell
their story, the ones who have been
redeemed from the hand of the enemy"
Psalm 107:2

 Zachary and Matthew's bunks both waited until the last day of camp to perform their camp skits. There is a points challenge throughout camp and there are many ways that each bunk can win points toward their final score. The bunk who wins with the most points gets to pick an activity that they want to do on the last afternoon of camp while the other bunks clean up the property before shirt signing and supper. The bunk skit is one of the many ways to earn points - a lot of points!

I have enjoyed getting to be at camp for the last couple of years while my middle schoolers gopher. It definitely was a more relaxing year this year with one session of counselor coordinating. Last year I jumped in and was counselor for both sessions. Although it was fun...it took about a week last year to recover! This year it was fun to do a little bit of everything. It made my heart happy when I went into the yellow bunk each night and there were some of my little pink girls from last year remembering all of the fun we had.

One of  my gophers taking
a much deserved break!

Serving together

There is definitely soul therapy being part of the team that makes it all possible. And, like the kids, I got to know some really great ladies and men a little better because we were serving together and had the opportunity to get to know each other better than we do just passing and chatting at church. I did sleep much better in the "Ladies Bunk" than I did in the Pink and Lime Green bunks last year. (Even though I didn't get there fast enough to claim a bottom bunk!)

It was great to get away for this wonderful distraction and I won't close today without saying although I didn't get any pictures of Ryan doing what he does at camp, I am very proud to have him running around and doing what needs to be done too. I am thankful to Pastor Mick and Julie Lear for keeping the gophers busy and in line. They have memories that will last a lifetime and it is the reason I am here! They have to have a parent serving at camp in order to be gophers and so that is what brought me to Kids Camp last year for the first time. They are already looking forward a couple of years to when they can be Junior Counselors.